Skyscraper (Part 2)

By: Cedric

Previously...

Singapore, supervisor's flat, massage session...

Shit happens. Pumunta ako sa bahay niya para magmasahe. I was not expecting that this session would lead to something i am not prepared of. Yes, i admit na a little part of me liked what was about to happen pero boss ko siya and wala nga sa plano yun, di ako prepared...

Moving on, i told him that i was not comfortable with our position, wherein "almost" 69 kami, yakap nya hips ko ng mahigpit, and he was playing with my hard on using his mouth, and i am still on my shorts...

He eventually let me go, i sat beside the bed and of course naglisip ako. What is happening, magiging kami ba o one night stand b
a to. Magulo pero at that time talagang namamayani ang libido. He went up to me, and with my shirt on, he kissed my shoulder to my neck. Iyon bang ramdam mo ung tela ng damit sa pagitan ng balat mo and ng labi niya. Mainit. Masarap. Nakakabaliw. That was the time na nadala ako ng libog.

We were like hungry predators, playing, biting and all drenched in a mixture of sweat and oil which heightened up the sensation. Masasabi ko na experienced si boss Luke, kasi talagang mahusay siya magpaligaya. Hindi siya ang unang kumain sa pwet ko pero siya ang pinakamahusay.

He told me how he liked my ass so much. Sobrang sarap ng ginagawa nyang pagkain sa butas ko. Nawala ako sa wisyo, ninanamnam ko bawat dampi ng labi at dila nya sa akin. Iyon marahil ang malaki kong pagkakamali.

Di ko kasi alam kung paano nangyare, pero may one time na ndi na pala dila yung gamit nya kundi ulo na ng pagkalalaki niya. He was trying to put it in nung nagising ako sa katotohanan na nasasaktan ako.

I told him to stop, pero he said na sa simula lang yon masakit, the fact that i don' t like bottoming and i do not let anyone na pasukin ako.

Pinilit nya ako, nilambing, chinupa, nilibog kumbaga. After some time, napapayag nya ako, with a promise na dadahan dahanin niya. Yes, that was my first time, sa kano pa. Who would have expect na si Cedric, magaganap na ang pagkababae.

He told me na malinis sya, after a long time na pagmamaryang palad nya, ako daw yung una niya. He was requesting na wag na daw sya mag condom since virgin naman ako. Sabi ko bahala siya. Again he licked my ass, magaling talaga siya kasi nawala na naman ako sa sarili ko.

Then he pointed his weapon. Tang ina ang sakit! Di pa nakakapasok yung ulo napasigaw na ako and i immediately push him away. Yung sakit kakaiba, first time ko naranasan, di ako makakilos sa sakit. Ayun siguro yung nakita nya kaya kahit pumapalag ako, muli niya itinutok. This time hinalikan nya ako sa labi, pero di ako makalaban kasi iniinda ko yung sakit.

With one full blow he was inside of me, fully inside. Then that was the last thing i remembered that night. Nag passed out ako. Hassle no? Hinimatay sa first time. Sino ba kasi nagsabi na sasarap din yan after some time. Well para sa akin, halos isang linggo ko iyon pinagdusahan.

Nung nagising ako nakayakap sa akin si Luke. Still feeling the pain and anger i pushed him hard. Away from me. Di ko maipaliwanag yung sakit na nararamdaman ko, kahit yung luha ko napipigilan. Wala pa rin akong lakas.

Hirap akong lumakad, dumumi and talagang nagkasakit na ako for 3 days. Company started calling me asking where i am. Siguro ay naguilty si Luke kasi nung unang araw na di ako nakapasok, he made an effort to look for my place through my friends. Siya pa nagdala sa akin sa hospital para magpacheck up.

Hindi naman masamang tao si Luke kaya kahit di niya sabihin sa akin, di ko na ulet binuksan yung issue, para na rin siguro sa akin yun. Honestly, this is the first time na naikwento ko ito. And it really feels good.

After a week nakapasok na ulet ako. Luke made sure na wala akong magiging problema sa work. There's that one time na nagkausap kami and i really don't know kung paniniwalaan ko siya, pero sabi niya na after i passed out eh tumigil na rin siya. "i can't bring myself to take advantage of you like that, you look so calm after you passed out..." ayon na rin sa kanya.

I finished my 6 months sa Singapore and before I left, Luke and I had a time alone, he kissed me gently in the forehead saying he was sorry and thankful at the same time. He gave me a thousand SGD after. I tried to refuse pero sabi niya hindi daw bribe yun, regalo daw niya yun for a job well done.

PILIPINAS pinakamamahal kong Pilipinas.

I never told anyone na uuwi na ako, di naman madami dala kong bagahe kasi puro pera. Haha. Nakisabay ako dun sa isa kong kasamahan and they dropped me dun sa sakayan ng tricycle malapit sa amin. When i got home, only my little brother was there and he was really surprised, priceless yung mukha nya after seeing his idol sa harap niya. Tears of joy kumbaga. He feed me with a lot of stories, family and friends. Sa anim na buwan marami na ang nangyare.

Sa tropa solid pa rin except kay Leo. He fell out of place, nagbago daw kasi ugali. I also learned na si Sarah eh hindi pumasa sa board, which is the reason kung bakit di siya kumokontak sa akin when i was away. I felt bad.

For old time sake, and para maghatid ng chocolates i went to my friends' houses. Walang may alam sa kanila na nakauwi na ako kaya lahat nagulat. By the time i reached Leo's, Jason was the one who entertained me, kasi nasa galaan daw kuya niya. Nageempake siya nung dumating ako, he said na sa manila na siya nagaaral and he just went home to grab some clean clothes. That was also the time I learned na lumaki daw ulo ng kuya nya, nag runner up daw kasi sa malaking pageant sa lugar namen, naging bastos and most of all natuto na daw magyosi and uminom. Sa totoo lang, may kurot sa puso ko, masakit na isa sa kapatid ko ay napariwara. After all, we used to be good friends.

A week later, i went to my school to submit all the remaining requirements para makagraduate na ako. Sadly, nalate ako for that sem so bale sept na daw ulet ako bumalik for october graduation. Syempre gusto ko magmartsa, kaya go for october na lang ako.

I was so bored that time kaya nagtry ako mag apply kung saan saan. It was then i got a call center agent job. In short naging bampira ako. Here, i met Katniss (the hunger games), chinita, di masyadong maganda pero malakas ang dating. Actually, walang ligawan ang nangyare, we were hanging out then i asked her "try naten maging tayo, if magwork ok, if hinde, ok lng din". June 10, 2010 naging kami ni Kat, within a month i fell deeply, madly inlove with her.

Around mid july i got a distressed call from mom. Si Leo raw got into trouble and he was being held in a local brgy hall near our place. Like what i have said, hindi ako masamang tao, so i went because i am trying to reach out for him na rin kasi since it has been a while and it is about time to try and patch things up with him.

It was 11pm nun and ang plano ko is to go pass by the hall and then go to work, my shift starts at 2 am pa naman. Luckily, ayaw lang naman siyang paalisin kasi lasing siya, sabi nung tanod tinawagan daw yung kapatid pero hindi raw makakarating, ayaw naman daw ipatawag yung parents.

Upon seeing me, he looked relieved but his tone says diffrent. "o bakit ikaw ang nandito?" he asked in a not so good way.

"si Jason tumawag kay mama" sabi ko.

Tumayo siya and makikita mo na lasing talaga. "pasensya na sa abala, salamat na rin"

Kahit hindi maganda yung tono ng pananalita niya, natuwa na rin ako, in a long time, ngayon ko lang sya ulet nakausap ng "maayos". Lumapit ako sa kanya at inakbayan ko sya. Oo kahit di siya stable maglakad inakbayan ko siya, ginulo ko buhok niya and i rubbed my forehead to his head. Ung biruan ng magkapatid.masaya ako. Sabik ako sa kaibigan ko. "ano ba nangyari kasi bro?" pahabol ko.

Di siya umimik pero ndi naman niya tinanggal pagkakaakbay ko sa kanya. Nang makarating kami sa bahay nila pinagbuksan nya ako ng pinto, pero i told him na may pasok ako kaya next time na kami mag catch up. I saw disappointment sa mukha niya pero i cannot do anything. Isa pa naghihintay si Kat sa office.

August, Kat was pregnant. I can't tell anyone. Even Kat kept it from her family. She was so scared that she really thought of miscarriage. Di naman naging mahirap ang usapan and eventually we decided to keep it and live in together. I was overjoyed. Mas lumalim yung love ko para kay Kat. She was my everything that time.

Umuuwi pa rin ako weekly to give some money to my family despite the fact na nagiipon din ako for what is about to come. I know you might think it is a bit too hard and too much for a 22 y/o guy, pero shit really happens and this is life.

I took a leave for a week, that was when i received a call from Jason, "si kuya, nadehydrate, nasa ospital, papunta na ako kaya lang matrapik eh." He was not asking me to go pero i got this urge in my guts and asked Kat a permission to go to my friend.

Leo was resting when i got to the hospital. 2 gallons of wilkins and some snacks i got from mercury drug yung dala ko para sa kaibigan ko. Basta kung anu ano yung binili ko.

Nagulat siya nung nagising kasi nandun ako.

"pare, kamusta? Okay ka na ba?" usal ko.

"okay naman ako, medyo nanghihina lang.." sagot niya. "kanina ka pa ba?"

"kadarating ko lang din, ako pa lang ba pumunta?" tanong ko sa kanya. Sinimulan ko na rin ayusin yung mga dala ko.

"asa pa ko sa iba, si jason ba tumawag sayo? Naku naman nag abala ka pa.." nahihiya niyang sabi habang pinipilit tumayo.

Masarap ang naging usapan namin, tulad nang dati. Kumustahan, sinabi ko rin sa kanya na may gf na ako, pero nagdalawang isip ako na sabihin na buntis na si Kat. Magdadalawang oras na ang nakalipas nang dumating si Jason. Tangan niya ang isang bag na may damit ng kuya niya. Dumaan na muna siya sa bahay nila bago siya dumiretcho sa hospital. Nagstay pa ako ng mga ilang oras bago nagpaalam na uuwi na dahil medyo gabi na rin.

Papasok na ako sa elevator nung nahabol ako ni Jason para samahan daw niya ako sa sakayan.

Sobrang tagal maghintay ng sasakyan dahil sa late na rin. Mabuti na lang at may balot haha. Yun na yung ginawa naming snack ni Jason habang naghihintay. Ako bahala sa sabaw at sa "pula", si Jason naman ang titira ng sisiw. Masaya siya na pumunta ako sa hospital. Masayang kwentuhan na napunta sa pag uusisa kung bakit nasira kami ng kuya niya.

Sinabi ko lahat ng nangyare sa amin ng kuya niya. Opo i think we are mature enough para hindi na magtago ng kung anu ano pa. Straight to the point. What i admire the most sa mga tropa ko, lahat sila open minded, unlike the others na pagiisipan ka ng masama. Jason just listened. Every detail is there pati yung paninira sa akin ni Leo sa iba. (I haven't mentioned na meron din pong one time, no, not just one time, twice na sinulot niya yung nililigawan ko and sinabi na bakla ako)

Eto yung part ni Jason, not the exact words pero eto yung pagkakaalala ko.

Kuya Cedric, alam mo ba na simula nung magkagalit kayo dun nagbago yang si kuya, naalala ko na palagi siyang pinagagalitan nila mama na bakit hindi ka raw tularan. And there's one time na sinagot niya na bakit ka raw niya tutularan eh bakla ka naman daw. Yun din yung first time na nasampal siya ni mama dahil masama raw yung paninira sa ibang tao. Dun siya nagstart na magbago, he improved physically and tried to study hard as well. Hindi man gumanda ugali ni kuya pero naging pursigido yan sa pag aaral. Naaawa nga ako sa kanya kasi nalayo ang puso ng lahat sa kanya. As in ayaw na siyang pakisamahan ng lahat. Nagsawa na. Kuya Ced alam mo dahil sa kwento mo, ngayon ko naintindihan si kuya. Kahit noon pa, nakikita ko sa web history ng internet namen na palaging nandoon yung profile mo. Then one time nasulyapan ko na he was checking your updates. When you came from abroad he wanted to make sure na nandito ka na, i saw him checked your profile. Sabi pa niya hindi totoo kasi wala kang status update. Akala ko pa nga nagkaayos na kayo that time. Haha mukhang malakas ata tama ni kuya sayo kuya Ced <(this last sentence i am sure i got the exact words)

Kuya Ced alam mo after the brgy incident, nung sinundo mo siya, he just stopped everything, i mean ung pagiinom and yosi niya. sabi niya ayaw na daw niya maulit ulet ung mabarangay sya kaya siya titigil. Pero sa ngayon mukhang alam ko na... Bumalik siya sa sports and ayan nasobrahan ata...
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Habang pinakikinggan ko yun, mixed emotions ako, kahit ngayon i don't know and i cannot explain what i felt that night. Ayaw ko kasing i-entertain yung idea na nagegets ni Jason. Pero at the same time, i cannot help think, did i make it hard for Leo? His parents thought i was better? Unintentional, may dahilan yung pagiging kontra bida niya sa buhay ko? Pfffft.

I was fed with too much info, pero like what i did most of the time, i did live my life as normal as possible. It was november when Kat's tummy became obvious. We did the inevitable. Sinabi namin both sides what was happening and what was about to come. Sa side ko, madaming salita pero apo pa rin nila yun they even asked what was my plan. I told them na we have to talk to the other side first before we plan and if we have to marry eh ready akong magpatali. Now, it was Kat's side. Eversince na naging kami, hindi naman nagpakita ng hindi maganda ang mama ni Kat sa akin. Dalawa sila magkapatid, both girls and nagaaral pa ng high school yung kapatid niya. On the other hand, hiwalay ang parents ni Kat kaya walang itak na sasalubong sa akin.

So ayun na nga. Isa sa pinaka madramang eksena ng buhay ko, looking back i am laughing my ass out. Iyak ng iyak yung best actress nyang nanay sa harap ko, as in hagulgol. Pano mo bubuhayin ang anak ko? Pinagkatiwalaan kita! Ang babata nyo pa! Ilan lang yan sa mga dialogue ni cherry pie picache. Well that time nadala ako sa drama kaya naki iyak ako...

When we all calmed down, i asked for her daughter's hand pero ang sabi niya na tska na lang daw ang kasal. Intindihin muna namin yung magiging anak namin. Seeing no problem with the situation, i agreed. All went back to normal except sa tiyan ni Kat. Sa di ko maipaliwanag na dahilan, magically, biglang lumaki na ang tiyan ni Kat after na i announce sa mundo ang tinatago namen.

Sa office, i made sure na alagang alaga ko siya, i even requested my TL na pagsamahin kami sa isang team.

After some time kailangan na niyang tumigil sa work and sinalo ko yung load ng responsibilidad.

We also decided na itigil ang pag live in and umuwi na muna sa kanya kanyang bahay, in that way hindi siya maiiwanang mag isa. Being a gentleman and dahil na rin mataas ang respeto ko sa mama ni Kat, di ako natutulog sa kanila. Bisita lang ako then uuwi ako sa amin. 30 mins na biyahe papunta kay Kat after work, 1 hr na biyahe pauwi sa amin. Tapos tiyaka pa lang ako matutulog. Ang dali no? Tapos ganon ulet, araw araw.

One time nagpaalam ako na magpapahinga for my off and next day na ako pupunta sa kanila. I was on a tindahan when Leo passed by in their pick up. He asked me kung pwede ko siya samahan sa mall kasi wala siyang kasama. By that time we were in good terms ni Leo, by that time rin hindi pa niya alam na magkakababy na ako and by that time, expressive na si Leo na masaya siya sa pagkakabalik ng friendship namen.

To make it short, sumama ako and we were on nlex when we started to chat about ourselves and relationships. I learned na he was still with Annabeth (heroes of olympus). Si Anna ay isa ring model modelan sa lugar namen. Pero sobra siyang mabait and respetado unlike other beautiful girls na makikilala nyo. She was with Leo for about a year and a half noon and i know na hanggang ngayon sila pa rin. Before Anna walang tumagal na relasyon si Leo. And kung nagtatanong kayo kung bakit matagal na sila pero ngayon lang siya nag appear sa kwento is because she was away. After Anna graduated as a nurse, she passed  the boared immediately and agad agad na nakapag abroad dahil na rin sa mga connections. She's here in Dubai as well, as of the moment.

When it' s my time to tell about Kat, i can feel the tension building. Alam mo yung feeling na alam mo na may alam ka na hindi niya alam na alam mo tapos kinakabahan ka sa pwede mong sabihin sa walang kadahilanan? ( haha wala talagang punctuation para mahirapan kayo ) then ayun na nga, nawala yung bliss sa kanya. Pero he maintained composure. Naging matipid siya sa mga salita nya. Buong trip hanggang makauwi was like forever.

A sentence just remained in my mind na sinabi niya, "bakit parang ngayon ko lang to nalaman apat na buwan na pala"

And we're back from scratch... After that little tour we had, ndi na naman niya ako pinapansin. This time i was quite sure why. Hindi naman siya naging mean sa akin pero may nawala na naman sa amin.

February, when i decided to send some applications to some hotels and abroad. Medyo hirap din ako matanggap dahil again i failed to work on my graduation dahil sa mga sudden turn of events. Unti unti rin bumagsak ang katawan ko, siguro dahil sa stress and pagod sa buhay ko. Nariyan yung muntik na akong maconfine and one time na talagang hindi na kaya ng katawan ko, i resigned. Sabi ni daddy, ipahinga ko muna daw ang sarili ko, don' t push myself too hard ika niya nga.

(i just want you guys to know na from this part, napakabigat nung feeling ko sa pagsulat, i am apologizing in advance kung hindi na ganun kaganda ang composition ng story kasi nahihirapan talaga ako ilahad yung events)

Mahal na mahal ko ang daddy ko kaya lahat ng sinasabi niya sinusunod ko. Hindi man namin siya palaging kasama, dahil isa siyang Chief Engineer ng barko, we make sure na everytime na narito siya eh he felt unconditional love from us. 10 years ang agwat nila ni mama kaya medyo may edad na si daddy. Pero kahit ganon pursigido and trabaho kung trabaho pa rin ang drama. He was not supposed to go till end of march of that year, pero he was too in demand sa trabaho, dahil na rin siguro sa quality of work niya, kaya mid feb he was obliged to go. Maganda naman ang itenerary ni daddy kaya every 2 weeks nagkikita sila ni mama. MANILA - HONGKONG - CHINA. Paikot ikot lang.

One time he met us all para lang makita nya si Kat. That was the happiest day of my life. I cannot compare it to anything else yet.

April, my month,  birthday was coming... This was the time na nagiimbita na ako, exact post on facebook "okay! Sa birthday ko, ipapasarado ko tong lugar naten, lahat po kayo imbitado!". It was a common filipino joke yung sarado lahat sa birthday ko. Excited na rin ako kasi malapit na rin lumabas si baby. April-may yung kabuwanan ni Kat.

A day before my birthday, the "text" came... My loving cousin from my father side who doesn't send me anything but, "Fucker kamusta na?!", sent a rather disturbing message.

"Cedric nabalitaan mo na ba? :(((((((("

That was the exact message, she even called me by my name. Kaya kinutuban na ako ng hindi maganda. Nakuha kong lumabas early in the morning, it was 9am if i am not mistaken, to reload my phone. Then i called her. After hearing what she has to say, nasa store pa ako which is 5 blocks away from my house eh umiiyak na ako. I tried to control it pero hindi ko kaya, ganon pala kapag nalaman mo na wala ka ng tatay. Sobrang sakit. Di ko mapigil luha ko.

I was the first one to know, i was running heading back home. Humahagulgol ako nung dumating sa bahay namin. Nandun yung kuya ko and natutulog sa sala namin si bunso. Nagulat sila kasi nga maingay ako. They both started crying kahit na di pa nila alam kung bakit, they kept on asking me kung ano nangyare pero di ako makasagot. Nagsiputan na rin yung iba naming pinsan and tita lahat sila umiiyak pero clueless. First time kasi nila ako makitang luhaan.

Mama was at her office that time kaya my first few words were  "si mama, di pa nya alam, tawagan nyo muna sila ate(pinsan ko na malapit sa office ni mama) pasundo niyo".

Still wala pa rin silang alam. "Putangina naman oh! Ano ba kasi nangyare Ced?!" sumigaw na kuya ko.

"si daddy, wala na." humihikbi ako di malinaw pero nabuo ko.

That triggered for more sobbing and non stop crying. Yung tipong wala nang luha pero iyak ka pa rin ng iyak. My mom was picked up by our cousins and sent her home. Bakas sa mukha niya yung lungkot. Hindi siya umiiyak pero kitang kita mo sa mukha niya na nagpapakatatag siya. Siguro ay para sa amin.

Same day, we were summoned to my dad's office by their company's attorney. But since lahat kami eh di pa makareact they resched the meeting for tomorrow. My birthday.

Imagine, birthday mo, tapos, your father' s dead, tapos, yung regalo mong matatanggap eh malaking kahon na siya ang nasa loob, and to make it worse, malalaman mo na hindi kayo ang legal family. Ang nasabi ko noon? " lord, lupet mo magjoke"

I'll just keep it simple and short, heart attack ang cause of death, questionable pa ang insurance ni daddy kasi may nakitang medications sa room niya na hindi namin alam, it turns out na nakaschedule na siya for bypass pero he decided to go pa rin. Sad thing alam nung isang family lahat about my dad's illness. As for us, wala talaga kaming alam, masayahin siya sa piling namin.

Sa buong lamay hanggang sa mailibing si daddy, hindi ako tumingin sa kabaong ni daddy. Ayaw ko siya makita sa ganung ayos. I want to retain the happy and loving father i knew.

In the end, a forth of the whole insurance lang ang nakuha namen since di nga kami ang legal family. Lahat ng properties ni daddy wala kaming nakuha. Nung nabubuhay si daddy, di siya nagkulang sa amin, pinalaki niya kami ng sanay sa sapat lamang. Yun bang walang luho kasi napaniwala niya kami na hindi super laki ang sahod niya kundi sapat lang. Pero masakit kahit papaano nung nalaman namen na tatlo sasakyan nila sa kabila, including iyung ginagamit niya sa amin, super laki ng bahay nila compared to our humble home, sunod sa luho yung mga pamangkin ko sa kabilang side (itouch, psp, cp), and lastly, yung monthly na nakukuha namin eh wala pa sa kalahati ng nakukuha nung kabilang side. Hay buhay...

Nevertheless, once a person died mawawala lahat ng imperfections niya, lahat ng maiisip mo eh yung magagandang nagawa niya para sa amin. That is one of my good traits, optimist kumbaga.

A week after my dad's death talagang balisa pa rin ako. Tulala. Ako pinaka apektado kasi yung magbirthday ka sa kalsada, kumakain ng nilagang mais galing sa lrt. Tapos sobrang daming bad news. Life sucks. Pero one person never left my side.

Si Leo. I remember na birthday ko pa lang tawag na siya ng tawag sa akin. Kinukumusta ako. Tapos, after interment, he was there at our house waiting. Hanggang sa kwarto ko nandun siya, making sure that i was ok.

Another week has passed, first time ko bumisita kay Kat after my dad's death. We both knew kasi na it is better kung di na siya sasama kasi doon nga sa kabilang family binurol si daddy. I was trying hard to look good and presentable pero talagang depressed ako.

Worse become worst twice nag false alarm si Kat. I was obliged to stay at their home up until last week of may when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Lahat ng depression ko nawala.

Iyak na naman ako ng iyak, tears that i cannot stop. Sobra akong masaya. The first time na nakita ko si baby Renesme (breaking dawn) was a diffrent feeling. Priceless feeling. I am on this moment when someone hold my shoulders and say "pare parang mini me mo ah". Si Leo.

Tatapusin ko na po sa next episode...

Kung akala po ninyo eh tapos na ang lahat ng pagdurusa ko, nope... Puputulin ko po na muna sa ngayon...

Sa oras po na ito nabasa ko na po ung mga comments ninyo. Masaya po ako sa overwhelming support and praises ninyo sa pagsulat ko. Pero at the same time kinakabahan po ako, kasi baka di ko mameet yung expectations ninyo. Pero anyway... I offer you guys the second part of my story..